Breaking The Habit Overcoming Your Shyness

Do you often feel uneasy in social settings? Do large gathering of people make you want to retreat back to the safety and solitude of your home? Do you often break out in a sweat or get nervous when at a large function? If any of these sounds familiar you probably are one of the many people who suffer from social anxiety disorder. The good news is with time, counseling and practice you can join the ranks of the hundreds of thousands of people who are breaking the habit and re-introducing themselves to social settings with ease.

Many of us yearn to be able to get up in front of large crowds of people and be in the spotlight. We see others around us who are at ease with being the center of attention and the respect they earn for doing so. Yet when it comes time for us to take the stage or be the center of attention we often feel ill or uneasy about the entire situation. While some may think of this as purely a habit that has no consequences except for our embarrassment, the truth of the matter is people who are uneasy about themselves or react badly in social gatherings tend to be passed over in life for promotions, advancement and just being a “part of the group”.

There are a number of methods and simple at-home exercises you can do to help you overcome your anxiety and re-join the crowds and social activities you may have had to give up out of fear. A number of online support groups as well as local support resources provide the information and help many people need to regain control of their fears and stare them down.

If you believe you may be suffering from this disorder start by reaching out for help either online or locally. You don’t need to be afraid of interacting with society – there are those out there who can help you.

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Success Lessons From Baseball Enthusiasm And Excitement

I remember, about 35 years ago, reading two books by Frank Bettger, the baseball player, about how enthusiasm made all the difference in his life. His books made a difference in my life at the time and are still well worth reading and re-reading.

Probably the most famous of his books is “How I raised myself from failure to success in selling”. Frank died in 1981 but his books and priceless ideas live on.

In 1907, he played baseball for Johnstown in Pennsylvania for $175 dollars a month. He was young and ambitious but was fired for being lazy. He was not really lazy but had been trying to control his nervousness by being laid back.

His manager told him: “Whatever you do after you leave here, for heaven’s sake, wake yourself up and put some life and enthusiasm into your work.”

Frank went to Chester, Pennsylvania where he played baseball for only $25 a month. Frank commented: “Well, I couldn’t feel very enthusiastic on that kind of money but I began to act enthusiastic.”

After a few days he was given a trial at New Haven, Connecticut. No one knew him in that league so he decided to establish a reputation for enthusiasm. Once established, he would be forced to live up to his own reputation:

“From the minute I appeared on the field I acted like a man electrified. I acted as though I were alive with a million batteries.”

Frank threw the ball hard and fast around the diamond and ran like a madman to score for his team. All this was on a hot day when the thermometer was 100 degrees. The act he was putting on worked like magic.

His nervousness now worked for him by fueling his energy. His enthusiasm affected the other players on the field and they, too, became enthusiastic. He felt better during the game and after it than ever before.

Next day, the New Haven newspaper wrote: “This new player, Bettger, has a barrel of enthusiasm. He inspired our boys. They not only won the game but looked better than any time this season.”

The papers began calling him “Pep” Bettger, the life of the team. Enthusiasm increased his income in ten days from $25 a month to $185 a month. This was a 700% increase.

Bettger insists that he earned the income not for his ability which was the same as before but for his enthusiasm alone. He could not catch or hit better than before. Two years later he was playing 3rd base for the St Louis Cardinals.

Another two years later, he injured his arm and was forced out of baseball. Two years after this, he ended up selling life insurance. He was a miserable failure at this until he went to a public speaking course run by the great Dale Carnegie. Carnegie, like his first manager, told him to be more enthusiastic.

Carnegie then went on to give a talk on enthusiasm to his class. He became so excited that he threw a chair against a wall and broke one of its legs. All this reminded Frank of his early experiences in the baseball world.

“That night, I decided to stay in the insurance business and put the same enthusiasm into selling that I had put into baseball.”

During his first sales pitch after this decision, he became so excited that he pounded his fist. He could hardly believe it when his customer listened intently and then bought the insurance policy. He does not equate enthusiasm with fist pounding but “if fist pounding is what you need to arouse yourself inside, then I am overwhelmingly for it. I know this: When I force myself to act enthusiastic I soon feel enthusiastic.”

Frank went on to become a great salesman and a man who has inspired many other salesmen and ordinary citizens to live their lives with enthusiasm.

A salesman who is enthusiastic can outsell a non enthusiastic salesman who has much greater knowledge. The enthusiastic person is like a magnet. He or she attracts and inspires others to do what they thought was beyond them.

You can acquire enthusiasm simply and quickly by forcing yourself to act enthusiastically. It also helps to re-read your favourite inspiring passages daily.

Frank, himself, was inspired by a great quote from Walter Chrysler. When Chrysler was asked to give the secret of success, he listed qualities such as ‘ability, capacity, and energy’ but added that the real secret was ‘enthusiasm.’

“Yes, more than enthusiasm,” said Chrysler, “I would say ‘excitement’. I like to see men get excited. When they get excited, they get customers excited and we get business.”

Enthusiasm can make a huge difference. We could all benefit by being enthusiastic about something that we currently find boring. We could be amazed at how excited we become and how skilful we become. We could also notice that the fire of our enthusiasm soon spreads to other people.

We could end up in the ‘major leagues’ of whatever we become enthusiastic about and we could have more friends, more fun and more money!

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Take Action Developing Your Personal Power

What makes some people so energetic and admired that they become a magnet in attracting others to them. You know, the kind of person you enjoy being in their company. It has little to do with good looks, being abundantly wealthy, owning an expensive car, or wearing the latest fashion statement. Of course, these can’t hurt if you are lucky enough to have them.

It has everything to do with how you think, react, interact, and manage your time effectively. Being a success in life, love, business, and all personal activities takes work and a conscious “awareness” of the qualities and traits that can make you a confident, take charge person that attracts both men and women.

Think about each and every one of the traits listed below. On a daily basis “take action” on one or two of these qualities or traits. Small steps on a daily basis can lead to massive changes over time. Taken as a whole, they can be overwhelming. Progress is not made overnight, but by taking small chunks and tackling them one at a time. Take small steps today and your momentum will pick up next week, next month, next year…compounding like interest in a bank.

15 Steps To Becoming A New Person…

1. Maintain An Even Keel!

Have you ever met a hot head, angry, bitter person that you love to be with. Your temperament and how you handle yourself in all situations can determine your “cool” factor. Maintain steady, sturdy, and stable. Think before you act. Don’t get this confused with personality. Some folks are laid back, some are lively and animated. All are perfectly fine to be who you are, but when the ship hits the fan or when you are being pulled in five different directions, how you react is what’s important.

2. Have A Sense Of Humor!

Be self-deprecating and disarming. You have to be willing to poke fun at yourself from time to time, rather than be staunchly serious. Like anything else in life, humor has to be used in moderation and at the right time to be effective.

3. Smile!

Try this experiment. As you pass 3 people at work, have a somber or uncaring look on your face (This may be normal for you). Next, pass 3 people with a big, genuine smile on your face and offer a short greeting. What kind of reaction do you get? How did it make you feel? How did it make them feel? People love to feel valued and important. You can make someone’s day just by giving a simple smile.

4. Treat People Like You Would Want To Be Treated!

What goes around comes around. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and dignity. This applies in front of them and behind their back. Don’t get caught up in viscous gossip.

5. Remember Peoples Names And Small Details About Them!

More importantly use both of them in conversation. People love to hear their names and asking a question about their life shows you have an interest in them on a personal level.

6. Be Honest!

If you lie, even a small little white lie, eventually you will get caught in it. Everyone appreciates direct honesty, even if it is not popular or what they want to hear.

7. Let Other People Talk!

Conversation needs to be two sided to take place. Let the other person do most of the talking. Remain attentive and interested in what the person has to say.

8. Listen!

Really listen to what the other person is telling you. When he or she is talking, give direct eye contact and don’t think of how you are going to respond. Process what they are saying and then formulate your answer. Too many people do not listen when people talk but instead think about what they will say next and miss most of what that person said.

9. Do Your Homework!

Don’t go into anything unprepared. Plan and organize what you need to do. Checklists work great, this is why pilots use them….to not forget anything. Wasting someone’s time due to poor planning leaves a bad impression. Even a little preparation, if rushed, goes a long way.

10. Be Disciplined!

Physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual discipline is at the core of your being. Work on improving it every single day.

11. Stand Up Straight And Fly Right!

Good posture commands attention. Shoulders back, stomach in, butt in, and direct eye contact give you a commanding presence.

12. Be Compassionate And Caring!

The world is a hard place, but caring and compassionate people always make a difference in an otherwise selfish world.

13. Find A Mentor!

Emulate someone you admire. Good role models help us build our own unique model of who we are.

14. Associate With Positive People!

If you want to be upbeat, positive, and confident, don’t hang around with petty, nasty, complaining, whiney people. They will bring you down if you let them or you will become one of them. You know the type, complains at work but does nothing to change their unhappy situation. Life is too short to be pessimistic. Choose people who laugh, have goals and objectives, and are interested in living life to the fullest.

15. Give!

Give your time or give your money to worthwhile causes. What you give and how much you give will come back to you in spades in all kinds of ways. Misers are unhappy people.

Everyday strive to be the best that you can possibly be. Will you stumble along the way? Sure, but it is how you get up and continue that counts. It is the small effort that you take daily that can lead to the dynamic, “gee I wish I were like him/her” person you deserve to be.

Your attitude determines your altitude in life. Good luck and start today!

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Planning For Success

Here are some general start-up tips for a successful home business.

The first tip is a word of caution. It’s easy to think that because your home business can bypass the lease or construction aspects of starting a business, and the overhead costs of furnishing, maintenance, landscaping, utilities and so forth, that you can skip over some other processes to. That attitude, rather than heading someone down the road to a successful home business, could lead to financial business disaster.

An entrepreneurial spirit and a great idea are terrific assets for a successful home business. Other things are important too, however.

Market research and careful planning are of paramount important to the success of a home business, as they are for any business. A business plan is a must. It must include details on the products and services the firm will offer, the type of business equipment and the cost of it that will be needed in the coming five years. It should also include information on the competition in the designated market area. This information should include ways that the new home business will be successful in competing – how it is unique and how it is an improvement over what else is out there in the same industry.

A successful home business is one that is set up as the right legal entity. One of the first things new home based entrepreneurs should do is learn the legal consequences and liabilities of the various business types, as well as the tax consequences of each. A home business might be more successful as a partnership than sole proprietorship, for example, if additional cash flow is needed, or the entrepreneur is deficient in a crucial home business skill such as advertising, marketing or accounting, for example. An accountant can advise on the various options such as limited liability corporations, S corporations, standard corporations, limited partnerships and so forth.

Unless a successful home business is going to include walk in customers homeowner’s or renters insurance should provide adequate financial protection against theft or natural disaster. Of course, as equipment and furnishings are added, the insurance would need to increase. If clients were to come to the home office location, liability insurance would protect the firm from the financial devastating situation of customer injury.

A successful home business is one that is well planned and well funded. There is no such thing as too much preparation.

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Success Or Bust ?

Success or Bust!

We’ve all been driving down the road and seen those infamous signs in the back of all types of automobiles that say something like “Disneyland or Bust”. What does this mean? Basically, it means that those people are on their way to Disneyland and they will do absolutely anything no matter how much money, time or gas that they waste. They will get to Disneyland or BUST (go broke, run out of gas, waste too much time) trying to get there.

Now, let me ask you a question. Are you wearing this sign on your back as you head down the road to financial freedom?

SUCCESS OR BUST!

No, I don’t mean a real sign but you are doing everything possible to become successful no matter how much money, time or relationships it cost you. If this is you, then here’s a suggestion…stop the madness! Your success journey should progressively improve as you head down the path. Let me give you an example.

One of my coaching clients had been building her business for five years without any financial gain. That’s right, absolutely no progress. After just a few coaching sessions, she realized that she had been building her business wrong for five years. The minute that she began implementing strategies and techniques that actually work her business went through the roof. She’s now on her success journey and she is paving her way with golden bricks. This lady refuses to wear that sign that most of you are wearing…Success or Bust!

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